Experts explain the different faces of grief

When you lose a loved one, your world can change in a matter of seconds. How a person reacts to death is a completely unique experience that can come in many forms.

“Some people are more emotional … some people more cerebral …. There’s no right or wrong way; it just works,” explains Brenda Gibbs, owner of Bereavement and bereavement counseling.

The “five stages of grief” are often listed as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But the truth is, this is not necessarily how we cope with the loss of a loved one.

Get the latest national news

Get the latest Canadian news in your inbox as it happens, so you never miss a trending story.

“This kind of five stages of grief has been largely deprecated. . . . These are actually written to help a dying person see what stages they’re going through,” he says. heritage guide and celebrant Karla Combreswho works with individuals and families to help define and create lasting legacies. “The truth is, it’s messy, it’s not linear, you can feel one thing one second, this another, you can go back, you can go forward.”

And we don’t just mourn the dead. Some grieve the end of relationships, the loss of a job, or even leaving a child alone. But the common thread among all grief is the element of support needed to heal. That’s why community gatherings like “Cafes of death” were created to help people feel seen during a time that feels isolating.

“There are community gatherings that are really just about normalizing death and dying… It’s very open, usually. No proselytizing, no selling products,” says Combres.

At the end of the day, the best way to help someone on their grief journey is to simply reach out.

“It’s just about checking in. How is your day today? If you want to offer help, be specific,” says Gibbs.